The Crespi Family is lighting 28 candles in honor of the lives loss in the Newtown tragedy. Having been on both sides of this issue, that of the grieving family with children to bury and that of trying to understand and deal with unexplainable violence and actions of a family member is unique and difficult but offers answers.
I get the numbers as the candles are lit…20 children, 6 adults at the school, 1 young (so young) man who took his own life and then 1 for his mother, killed away from the school. 27 are considered victims and then there is Adam, the shooter, the killer but another victim? Most will not get even close to this idea but we went there…almost immediately. Mostly, it takes my breath away and I am left to pray. To keep my ear to the ground listening for clues as to the truth as brief tidbits are shared and then quickly disappear like something terrible but maybe revealing has just been said and then silenced.
The Natural News people are getting “It” and it being that medication probably was at the core of this tragedy. Who acts like this without an intoxicating substance? Who incites this kind of violence with their own energy? Something is the compelling force and that force has been medication more than not.
I thank God everyday that my husband, David Crespi, did not take his life the day of our tragedy. Sadly, I know all too well that being taken out of this life may have been easier on him and us too to some degree. Prison and injustice is no picnic for this family. Our days of bliss and happiness as a grateful, loving, fun family of 7 on earth ended on January 20, 2006. Samantha and Tessara were taken into the arms of heaven and the remaining 3 children and I and David were left to grieve, endure and question.
But, as much as I dislike many aspects of our current state, I see the revolution that has occurred in our lives, in how we care for ourselves and love others. We have been forced to second guess everything we had come to understand about life and love and our overall health. Body, Mind and Spirit Health are the goals but not trusting the healthcare system we had come to depend on. It is a whole new world of challenging, learning, researching, communicating and then stepping out in faith to care for ourselves and others.
I can never go back to January 19th, 2006 and the trust I had in our American systems. But I can go forward with faith, trust and hope in God and the answers that each day get revealed for a family that is trying to stay healthy, connected, faithful and together.
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